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Starting Lineups. Giroud confirmed for hat trick. Gervinho confirmed for forehead. Mertsesacker confirmed for lord of the dance.
Arsenal: Mannone, Jenkinson, Mertesacker, Vermaelen, Gibbs, Ramsey, Arteta, Gervinho, Cazorla, Podolski, Giroud.
West Ham: Jaaskelainen, Demel, McCartney, Reid, Collins, Noble, Nolan, Diame, Vaz Te, Jarvis, Carroll
1"- Bubbles on the field to start. West Ham fans confirmed for pedophiles and/or clowns.
61"- Walcott in for Gervinho. No inconsistency lost in the transaction.
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79"- Good play from West Ham, touch from Diame to Nolan right inside the top of the box, blazes over.
81"- Mertesacker pirouettes and almost scores from yet another Cazorla corner. Deflected for another Arsenal corner, which Giroud calmly heads into the West Ham keeper.
83"- Walcott does well, feeds to Cazorla, who delivers an absolute peach from about 25 yds into the right side of the net. Keeper doesn't even move. 3-1 Arsenal. 3 points a certainty.
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Starting Lineups. Giroud confirmed for hat trick. Gervinho confirmed for forehead. Mertsesacker confirmed for lord of the dance.
Arsenal: Mannone, Jenkinson, Mertesacker, Vermaelen, Gibbs, Ramsey, Arteta, Gervinho, Cazorla, Podolski, Giroud.
West Ham: Jaaskelainen, Demel, McCartney, Reid, Collins, Noble, Nolan, Diame, Vaz Te, Jarvis, Carroll
4"- Announcer has a heavy, heavy lisp. Has said "Cathorla" at least 7 times now. Also a testament to the feisty Spaniard's willingness to move and find open spaces.
10"- Arsenal commanding possession per usual, West Ham looking to park the bus despite being at home. Typical cowardice. Only a matter of time for the breakthrough. My money's on an outside stunner from Cathorla.
17"- Giroud schooling his defender on the left, intricate Arsenal play across the box, Jenkinson with a low cross leading to a corner.
18"- 2nd corner
19"- Drops to Oliver "Beefcastle" Giroud, sends a shot destined for the upper 90 (hey, that's the name of our blog) but is deflected away for a 3rd corner. Lifts up his shirt in frustration, revealing an 8-12 pack midsection that could only be chiseled by Zeus himself.
20"- Arsenal continue to possess and pressure. The whole stadium can feel a goal coming.
21"- And right on cue, Diame hits a great goal for West Ham after megging Ramsey on the left before curling a perfect shot across the box into the corner. 1-nil Hammers.
24"- Pressure from Arsenal. Jenkinson has really begun to show consistent form on the right flank, especially on his crosses.
30"- Giroud does extremely well in the middle before leading Gervinho, who was born offsides, into the box where he was, against all the odds, offsides.
32"- Continued pressure from West Ham, threatening to really put the Gunners in a hole. Andy Carroll averaging one fall for every 2 strides isn't necessarily helping their cause.
33"- Clever, clever play from Cathorla. Corner Arsenal. Giroud time?
35"- Flick on from Per, misses Giroud by a centimeter. Oh so close. Arsenal back on the break as well. 1-1 halftime score appearing likely.
40"- HNNNGGGGG. Giroud and Podolski combine for a great 1-2 outside and inside the box. Brilliant low cross from Poldi, immaculate stretched finish from Giroud. The monkey is lifted! The monkey is lifted! 1-1.
45"- 2 added minutes. #GIROUD is trending.
47"- Horrendous finish by Noble right in front of goal after a sloppy set piece. West Ham will certainly rue that.
TEA TIME. Early reports indicate that Arsenal's halftime will solely consist of Wenger spinning in a circle, being mobbed by the team with this song blaring on an 80's style boombox.
52"- Amateur giveaway by Jenkinson, West Ham down the right, Mannone easily saves the cross
53"- Carroll creates a corner. Gods be good, how much money did he cost again? Lolerpool.
53"- Fluid counter by Arsenal, Podolski leads, gives to Gibbs, Gibbs fucks up.
54"- Andy "Rich as Fuck Somehow" Carroll hits the bar from 3 yards. Offsides regardless.
56"- Andres "I Drive 150 MPH in normal traffic like a BOSS" Santos subs in for an injured Gibbs. Expect strong attacks down his left flank followed by equal chances of breakaways for West Ham.
-Implying he didn't tap this
63"- Some guy injured for West Ham. Some other guy on for him.
65"- Nearly from Arsenal. Poldolski great run on the left, cross to Cazorla, dumbass backheel by Walcott around the 6, Giroud almost saves it but goes right into the side netting. Arsenal certainly the more likely side here.
67"- Andy Carroll + Free Header = 0 return on investment and massive, hearty laughs for all.
69"- Poldolski and Cazorla almost combine for a clinical goal. True pros, these guys are. Phenomenal signings for Arsenal, both in the short and long term.
70"- West Ham with a breakaway, Lord of the Dance says "Ish Don't Think So".
72"- Another West Ham rando injured, another West Ham rando on.
73"- Podolski with a great low shot, just deflected wide. Just followed a definite no-call against Ramsey on the edge of the box.
74"- Cazorla making the left flank his bitch, 93rd corner for Arsenal.
75"- 94th corner
77"- Smooth counter from Arsenal, Giroud slips Walcott in, clinical finish. 2-1.
79"- Good play from West Ham, touch from Diame to Nolan right inside the top of the box, blazes over.
81"- Mertesacker pirouettes and almost scores from yet another Cazorla corner. Deflected for another Arsenal corner, which Giroud calmly heads into the West Ham keeper.
83"- Walcott does well, feeds to Cazorla, who delivers an absolute peach from about 25 yds into the right side of the net. Keeper doesn't even move. 3-1 Arsenal. 3 points a certainty.
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88"- Delightful possession here from Arsenal. Unofficial count is 45 ole's from the away supporters.
90"- Great outside shot from Taylor, but equalled by Mannone's save. By the way, does anyone else think Mannone was a meat cutter in the back of Stop n' Shop in another life?
92"- Brilliant (whatdaya know?) through ball from Cazorla to Giroud, good close-range save.
95"- Game, Gunners. Great 3 points, West Ham just completely outmatched. Announcers saying Carroll had "decent" hold-up play and other positives from the Hammers, but in truth they were never threatening even up 1-0.
With a goal and an assist, MOTM goes to Giroud, with a close second by Cathorla.
