Saturday, October 6, 2012

Gunners vs. Hammers LIVEBLOG

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Starting Lineups.  Giroud confirmed for hat trick.  Gervinho confirmed for forehead.  Mertsesacker confirmed for lord of the dance.

Arsenal: Mannone, Jenkinson, Mertesacker, Vermaelen, Gibbs, Ramsey, Arteta, Gervinho, Cazorla, Podolski, Giroud.

West Ham: Jaaskelainen, Demel, McCartney, Reid, Collins, Noble, Nolan, Diame, Vaz Te, Jarvis, Carroll

 

1"- Bubbles on the field to start.  West Ham fans confirmed for pedophiles and/or clowns.
4"- Announcer has a heavy, heavy lisp.  Has said "Cathorla" at least 7 times now.  Also a testament to the feisty Spaniard's willingness to move and find open spaces.
10"- Arsenal commanding possession per usual, West Ham looking to park the bus despite being at home.  Typical cowardice.  Only a matter of time for the breakthrough.  My money's on an outside stunner from Cathorla.
17"- Giroud schooling his defender on the left, intricate Arsenal play across the box, Jenkinson with a low cross leading to a corner. 
18"- 2nd corner
19"- Drops to Oliver "Beefcastle" Giroud, sends a shot destined for the upper 90 (hey, that's the name of our blog) but is deflected away for a 3rd corner.  Lifts up his shirt in frustration, revealing an 8-12 pack midsection that could only be chiseled by Zeus himself.


20"- Arsenal continue to possess and pressure.  The whole stadium can feel a goal coming.
21"- And right on cue, Diame hits a great goal for West Ham after megging Ramsey on the left before curling a perfect shot across the box into the corner. 1-nil Hammers.


24"- Pressure from Arsenal.  Jenkinson has really begun to show consistent form on the right flank, especially on his crosses.
30"- Giroud does extremely well in the middle before leading Gervinho, who was born offsides, into the box where he was, against all the odds, offsides.
32"- Continued pressure from West Ham, threatening to really put the Gunners in a hole.  Andy Carroll averaging one fall for every 2 strides isn't necessarily helping their cause.
33"- Clever, clever play from Cathorla.  Corner Arsenal.  Giroud time?
35"- Flick on from Per, misses Giroud by a centimeter.  Oh so close.  Arsenal back on the break as well.  1-1 halftime score appearing likely.
40"- HNNNGGGGG.  Giroud and Podolski combine for a great 1-2 outside and inside the box.  Brilliant low cross from Poldi, immaculate stretched finish from Giroud.  The monkey is lifted!  The monkey is lifted!  1-1.


45"- 2 added minutes.  #GIROUD is trending. 
47"- Horrendous finish by Noble right in front of goal after a sloppy set piece.  West Ham will certainly rue that.

TEA TIME.  Early reports indicate that Arsenal's halftime will solely consist of Wenger spinning in a circle, being mobbed by the team with this song blaring on an 80's style boombox.

 

52"- Amateur giveaway by Jenkinson, West Ham down the right, Mannone easily saves the cross
53"- Carroll creates a corner.  Gods be good, how much money did he cost again?  Lolerpool.
53"- Fluid counter by Arsenal, Podolski leads, gives to Gibbs, Gibbs fucks up.
54"- Andy "Rich as Fuck Somehow" Carroll hits the bar from 3 yards.  Offsides regardless.
56"- Andres "I Drive 150 MPH in normal traffic like a BOSS" Santos subs in for an injured Gibbs.  Expect strong attacks down his left flank followed by equal chances of breakaways for West Ham.


-Implying he didn't tap this


61"- Walcott in for Gervinho.  No inconsistency lost in the transaction.
63"- Some guy injured for West Ham.  Some other guy on for him.
65"- Nearly from Arsenal.  Poldolski great run on the left, cross to Cazorla, dumbass backheel by Walcott around the 6, Giroud almost saves it but goes right into the side netting.  Arsenal certainly the more likely side here. 
67"- Andy Carroll + Free Header = 0 return on investment and massive, hearty laughs for all.
69"- Poldolski and Cazorla almost combine for a clinical goal.  True pros, these guys are.  Phenomenal signings for Arsenal, both in the short and long term.
70"- West Ham with a breakaway, Lord of the Dance says "Ish Don't Think So".
72"- Another West Ham rando injured, another West Ham rando on.
73"- Podolski with a great low shot, just deflected wide.  Just followed a definite no-call against Ramsey on the edge of the box.
74"- Cazorla making the left flank his bitch, 93rd corner for Arsenal.
75"- 94th corner
77"- Smooth counter from Arsenal, Giroud slips Walcott in, clinical finish.  2-1. 

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79"- Good play from West Ham, touch from Diame to Nolan right inside the top of the box, blazes over.
81"- Mertesacker pirouettes and almost scores from yet another Cazorla corner.  Deflected for another Arsenal corner, which Giroud calmly heads into the West Ham keeper.
83"- Walcott does well, feeds to Cazorla, who delivers an absolute peach from about 25 yds into the right side of the net.  Keeper doesn't even move.  3-1 Arsenal.  3 points a certainty.

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88"- Delightful possession here from Arsenal.  Unofficial count is 45 ole's from the away supporters.
90"- Great outside shot from Taylor, but equalled by Mannone's save.  By the way, does anyone else think Mannone was a meat cutter in the back of Stop n' Shop in another life?
92"- Brilliant (whatdaya know?) through ball from Cazorla to Giroud, good close-range save.
95"- Game, Gunners.  Great 3 points, West Ham just completely outmatched.  Announcers saying Carroll had "decent" hold-up play and other positives from the Hammers, but in truth they were never threatening even up 1-0.

With a goal and an assist, MOTM goes to Giroud, with a close second by Cathorla.


Racist Cunts vs Norwich 2nd half

<spoiler></spoiler>..... All Chelsea.

Racist Cunts vs Norwich 1st Half




This will be a live Blog kinda feel.

-missed the first 10 mins because my mom, I mean my girlfriend, had some chores for me
-and definitely not in the script, Norwich takes the lead on a clinical volley in the box
-order restored for Chelsea as Torres continues his run of great form. Great service from that Russian guy and a solid header into the far corner. Torres "makes amends for earlier" assuming he fucked up for Norwich 's first. Torres 1-Torres 1.
-Titty? for Norwich misses a glorious headed chance around the 6
-very open game so far, a true delight for the neutral viewer
-persistent Chelsea attack leads to a classic Lampard one hop laser from the top of the box. 2-1.
-and Chelsea lead which is very gay
-Oscar seems a player wise beyond his years and can do almost anything on the pitch. Great vision, great shot, great left and right foot, and most importantly, great awareness and patience. I think time will show him to be a much more valuable signing than Hazard. Joga bonito.
-textbook, glorious counter from Chelsea. Mata the general, Hazard the assassin. This team looks scary. Gay. 
-Mata in scintillating form. He does what he wants.
-Cute team play from Norwich leads to a deserved corner
-Chelsea firing on all cylinders. Everyone touching the ball, everyone moving. Seems like they're playing FIFA.
-Oscar to be rumored as the lead in Black Swan 2. Tip toeing magic around the box.
-chance for Holt, heads over. At this rate, that may be Norwich' s last chance of the game.
-Chelsea truly do look like a team in top, top form. After beating the Prem favorites last weekend, why shouldn't they?
-Halftime. Norwich clawing back to a 3-3 draw are about 50-1 odds at the moment.

The Return of Greatness

Michael Jordan. Backstreet Boys. Us. In no particular order. Upper 90 returns today to drop knowledge and ease hearts and minds for you futbol faithful out there. On the table today is Chelsea "WE OSCAR NOW" vs. Norwich "Our Jerseys Are Fucking Sweet plus we know Gilly" City. The late game is that team from the Green Street Hooligans against The Most Exciting Team in the World Not Named Barca (and who don't pay off refs). Spread those anuses and get ready for some biting, incisive, revealing, heartwarming, and clit tingling commentary.


Sunday, April 29, 2012

Yum.


I suppose the Blackburn midfield didn't sit so well in his system.

via Opta Sports - Sandro won 11 tackles vs. Blackburn today, the most by a PL players since Javier Mascherano vs. Wigan in March 2010.

Take Your Pick - Wonderstrikes of the Weekend

Luis Suarez's final goal in Liverpool's victory against Norwich sealed a hat trick for him and destroyed the dignity of Norwich keeper John Ruddy...an exquisite lob from near the half way line.


Wigan dismantled Newcastle with 4 first half goals in a rout at the DW Stadium. The fourth, in first half stoppage time, capped an incredible performance by arguably the hottest team in the Premier League right now. Take a bow Franco Di Santo...


And last but not least, a stunning curler off a set piece by England's Right Back Kyle Walker - as the announcer stated, "Beckham-esque" indeed.



Tuesday, April 17, 2012

In Honor of Chelsea v. Barcelona Tomorrow

I present one of the most epic CL goals ever.

After a 0-0 draw at Camp Nou in the 2009 CL Semi-Final, Chelsea were seconds away from advancing to the final before this...


Lasik Eye Surgery for all Refs

Since I am still distraught over this past weekend's FA Cup result, and generally disgusted by recent refereeing, I do not even want to think about EPL, the chase for the top 4, or Martin Atkinson.  So, I've looked elsewhere for today's football enjoyment. (Side note: Cheers to Wigan and Roberto Martinez).

Let's see how League 2 side Crawley Town react upon hearing their manager has left for another job:


I believe they were singing, "We're singing a song because the fat man's gone."

And here's a quick check in on one of our favorite Arsenal cast aways, Andrey Shava Arshavin:


Nice. Teammate scores, gets injured, and Arshavin stands on him. I hope he brings this nearly acquired skill back to the Emirates, wonder how RVP would react (is it just me or does he seem to have a pretty bad temper lately)?  

Monday, April 16, 2012

Deep Inside of a Parallel Universe

Spurs advanced to the FA Cup Final by beating Chelsea 2-1 at Wembley. Chelsea went into the break leading 1-0 before a Juan Mata strike was cleared off the line by LB Benoit Assou Ekotto. Minutes later, Petr Cech was shown a red card for bringing down Emmanuel Adebayor as he ran clear of John Terry on goal. Rafael van der Vaart leveled from the spot before Adebayor sealed the famous win in stoppage time.



Goddammit.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Re: The King Has Lost the Plot

I thought for sure this would be your main pic after seeing that title.


The King Has Lost the Plot



Speaking ahead of Tuesday night's Premier League match with Blackburn, Dalglish continued: "I know we have integrity, I know we have integrity in bucketloads, but I can't speak for other people and whether they have integrity.

"What we have to do now, is ensure this football club maintains its integrity, that the players keep their integrity, and hope that people elsewhere have some integrity too. They [referees] have to look at themselves and ensure they are seen to have integrity." Link to full article



Remind you of anything? Listening to Kenny babble on about how much integrity he has is like listening to Tim Tebow babble on about how many girls he's banged, it just doesn't make sense. How ironic of all people to be talking about integrity is Dalglish, the one who has consistently supported the skidmark of this year's Premier League season, Luis Suarez? The guy has been one of the biggest headlines of the season for all of the wrong reasons yet Dalglish continually supports him. 

And now he believes there is a conspiracy against Liverpool. If there's a conspiracy against Liverpool, there must be a full blown scandal involving Wigan after watching their Chelsea game this past weekend. Both goals seemingly were undisputably offside, yet both goals were given. Perhaps Kenny can get on this case as well because clearly he hasn't been giving Liverpool too much attention. He also seems to have graduated from the Sir Alex School of Entitlement. This is evidenced by his slating of referees in nearly every post game interview as of late. Complaining about missed and or blown calls is about as useful as placing Andy Carroll in your starting XI - They happen to every team throughout the course of the season and you'd like to believe that over time, they even out. Clearly he's just using these calls as an excuse for Liverpool's consistently average performances this year. There's no doubt he would have gotten the sack by now had he not had the illustrious playing career at Anfield that he has as there is no difference between the results that he has put up versus that of Roy Hodgson - and Dalglish has gotten more time and much more investment, regardless of how meaningless it has been (see Carroll, Downing, Jordan Henderson, Charlie Adam). 

"Bucketloads of integrity", the ramblings of a mad king.

The Ponytail Saves Liverpool


Days after Norwich boldly claimed they could finish above the historic Reds, Liverpool escaped a trip to Blackburn with three points. On paper, the game seemed destined to be dull, boring English football. It was anything but. Two goals within the first sixteen minutes, two penalties, nine yellow cards, and a red card to Liverpools GK Doni, which saw the Reds play with ten men for 65 minutes, provided me with enough of an excuse to stay at the pub for the game's entirety. Liverpool got the winner in injury time from Andy Parole, but again had another poor showing that sums up their season. Up 2-0 within 16 minutes and with an eye on this weekend's FA Cup semifinal date with Everton, they managed to make a mess of what should have been routine. 19 year old RB John Flanagan was abysmal, and at fault for Doni's red, until sacrificed after Doni's departure. Liverpool now heads into the weekend's derby with momentum from Carroll's late goal but also with their third choice goalie (who also almost saw red, would have loved to see Liverpool forced to use a teenager in goal for the FA Cup semi).

This has to be one of the worst penalties taken ever.

http://videa.hu/videok/sport/yakubu-penalty-miss-v-liverpoo-liverpool-xednD7pdSBIGiSYa

Arsenal-Man City Postmortem

Salt. funnel. wound.


Back to your cage, Balotelli. Take that landing strip on your head and that 23rd chromosome with you. Announcer put it best when he said "everytime I go to the circus, there's always a clown". I don't get it. Maybe that's because I have a father. In either event, Mikel "Most Underrated Midfielder In The Game" Arteta ensures Samir "I Can't Hold All These Trophies" Na$ri and the rest of his mercenaries will get 2nd place at best- 2:1 odds they completely fold these next 6 games and Arsenal snipes the runner-up crown.


At the worst, Arsenal have guaranteed 4th and a Champions League spot. Which means RvP won't be going anywhere. Add Wilshere and Podolski and a one-year older Ox and this team has a chance to win some serious hardware over the next few years. Bold prediction: treble next year, undefeated in the Prem, Wenger immediately bangs Kate Middleton and ascends to heaven.

Look at banner Samir-


PS apparently Super Mario had #YOLO written on his undershirt. I have no words for this.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Messi hits 60


So, some guy named Lionel Messi scored his 60th goal of the season this past weekend as Barcelona was able to move within 4 points of Real Madrid at the summit of La Liga. The Flea became the first player since Gerd Muller in 1973 to score 60 goals in a season. Muller went on to score 67 that year for Bayern Munich and holds the record to this day for most goals scored in one season of European competition. With 7 games remaining in La Liga, a Copa del Rey final on the horizon and 3 potential remaining games left for Barca in the Champions League, there's no reason why Messi can't surpass Muller. Do I hear 70? 75?

Monday, April 2, 2012

Daily Dose of Wonderstrike Brought to You by Cristiano Ronaldo


Ronaldo...he's so hot right now. Dude has got to be forever playing with a chip on his shoulder, am I right? Just killing it day in and day out but is always overlooked by Messi. Not that any of the praise heaped on the Argentine is undeserved, but from set pieces and from distance, there's not a more dangerous player in the world than CR7. Combine that with pace and strength, and you're looking at a living legend. The numbers speak for themselves - a legend at Old Trafford and has now scored a whopping 103 goals for Real Madrid in just 93 games.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Tottenham 3-1 Swansea City - The Recap

Spurs earned their first league win in their last 5 outings by beating Swansea City at White Hart Lane today. Spurs were the better side throughout but much credit should be given to Swansea, who played a very open game and looked impressive during some periods, especially considering the penchant of less-established sides to, well, park the bus away from home (looking at you Tony Pulis...). Spurs dominated most of the first period and were rewarded when van der Vaart strolled up to a Gareth Bale cross and struck home to put the home side up 1-0. Swansea leveled in the second half through Gylfi Sigurdsson before Aaron Lennon entered for Sandro and turned the game back in Spurs favor as Adebayor netted 2 quick headers in the last 15 minutes to put the game out of reach. And now to the stars of the game...

Man of the Match - Gareth Bale. Rampaged down the left with ease throughout the day. You would be hard pressed to find a single run where he failed to beat his man down the wing. Turned provider for the first goal as his cross eventually found van der Vaart. Also had success when occasionally drifting into the  center of the park but most of his damage was done down the left.

Runner-Up - Gylfi Sugurdsson. By far Swansea's most dangerous threat throughout. Scored the only goal of the match for the Welsh side from a bouncing volley that beat Friedel. Also should have scored from a 25-yard bullet that was tipped around the top corner by a diving Friedel. Seemed to be at the center of everything good going forward.

Honorable Mention- Emmanuel Adebayor. Netted a second half brace to seal the game for Spurs. Both goals were very similar and very well taken as he beat defenders in the air and left Vorm rooted to the spot. Was very valuable going forward as he was able to hold off defenders and keep momentum going both on the edge of the box and on the wing.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Why Always Me?

Cause of shit like this


Greatest Goal Celebrations- #9

From the man who invented class, Thierry Henry. A "long distance goal followed by a long distance celebration" as so perfectly put by the announcer. Slides full-on right in front of the Sp*rs supporters. The rare moment where cockiness is well and fully earned.


Poorly imitated by the Togolese buffoon Emmanuel Adebayor

PS Did Arsenal drop points to QPR today? I don't know, I didn't see it.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Greatest Goal Celebrations- #10

Perhaps nothing better encapsulates why soccer is better than American sports than its events post-scoring. Players catapult to states of nirvana and go fucking nuts. No restrictions to worry about, no fines. Just pure, unadulterated joy. Our first human reaction when doing something awesome is to run wild, physically and/or mentally, so why would we restrain that? Hi Roger Goodell. Seriously, soccer celebrations are some of the most genuine, exciting, impressive, creative, and sometimes just downright weird situations that one can view within the realm of sport. To honor this, we're counting down the 10 best celebration of all time. Leading off, the EPL's 4th all time leading scorer, Liverpool heartthrob, and likely narcotics fiend, Robbie Fowler....


At the time of this goal, the British tabloids, and especially the less than loved Evertonians, had been putting a lot of pressure on the likelihood of Fowler having a heavy cocaine problem. He responds by not only scoring a key equalizer in the Merseyside derby, at rival Goodison Park, but promptly snorts the endline not once, but twice- clearly as a result of building up such a high tolerance. Overall, in my book, pure class.

Girl Faces Assault Charges after Brawl during High School Game, Gives all Men Reason to Watch a Girls High School Game



The only reason why this video wasn't released on World Star first was because there's never any black people at soccer games. Black Americans don't play soccer...and this is why. I can just picture the thoughts running through the head of 80's mom running to break up the fight - "I knew we shouldn't have let LaToya join the league!" I don't know what's more embarrassing for the girl, the fact that she went HAM on this white girl like she pulled out her weave after she barely touched her (PS that was a shit attempt at a tackle, Lindsay), or her actual fighting skills once she pushed her down. I mean look at those last three "punches." What is this, the WWE? I think if the white girl feigned injury after this attack she should be booked for simulation. Either way, this girl seems confused as to what sport she's playing. Then again, maybe this will work better in spreading soccer to the American masses...it can't be worse than the David Beckham experiment.


Now, let's hear Richard Keys and Andy Gray's thoughts on women's soccer...



Tuesday, March 27, 2012

FA Cup Round-Up - Derby Delight

Everton cruised past Sunderland in their FA Cup 6th round replay while Spurs ran by Bolton at White Hart Lane in their second attempt of their match at White Hart Lane. #prayformuamba

Nikica Jelavic scored a goal and had an assist in a Man of the Match performance for Everton who dismantled a Sunderland side who looked nothing like the team that has experienced a recent revival under new boss Martin O'Neill. Spurs and Bolton were scoreless until the 73rd minute thanks to the King of the Gingers, goalkeeper Adam Bodgan. Ryan Nelsen scored his first goal for the club off a corner followed by Gareth Bale 3 minutes later. A Kevin Davies strike in the 90th minute ensured a nervy ending until Louis Saha struck on what ended up being the final kick of the game as Spurs won 3-1.

The results ensured two delicious Derby match-ups in two weeks time - Spurs will meet Chelsea while Everton will meet quickly fading Merseyside rivals Liverpool at Wembley in the semifinals of the world's oldest Cup competition. Now cue the motherfuckin music









Sunday, March 25, 2012

Kids Build Soccer Field on Water and Become an Awesome Team Inspiring Both Themselves and The Community (Little Old, but Irrelevant)

Beautiful game, my brethren. I honestly don't think I can think of doing something any cooler when at that age (or maybe any age). How this hasn't been made into a movie is beyond me. The Big Green who? These resourceful Thailand maestros would mop the floor with that fat ginger and his group of emotionally stunted, probably gay friends. Yeah, I didn't like that movie.

Anyways, without further adieu, prepare to be inspired

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Daily Dose of Wonderstrike Round 2: RoboCrouch Shimmers

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href='http://msn.foxsports.com/video?videoid=12eed0c4-6f9b-45a2-982f-658c5bc2c5f2&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;src=v5:embed::uuids' target='_new' title='Crouch&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;#39;s powerful strike' &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Video: Crouch&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;#39;s powerful strike&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

Crouch with a fabulous (edit: goal of the season/likely his life) goal, stealing a very valuable 2 pts from Man City, furthering doubts that they'll catch their Manchester neighbors and end their 4+ decade long title drought. Also, dat wife.

"Domo arigato, Mr Crouch. Rawr"


Game note: Samir Na$ri allegedly attempted to ingest his own ejaculate while in the locker room during half-time. Mancini's reaction-



Your Daily Dose of Wonderstrike


\
av30 by arsenalist


I still can't tell if I'm in awe of the purity of Arteta's Lego hair or utterly offended by its arrogance. However, strikes like these will certainly delay the conversation to a further date.


PS does anyone with even a drop of common sense see Arsenal losing their grasp on 3rd? Man City and Chelsea come to the Emirates, and then you have the relegation fodder of Wolves, Wigan, and QPR, followed by perpetually mediocre Stoke to round out the season. Money. in. the bank.


Chelsea 0-0 Tottenham - Player Ratings

What started as a drab affair in an uneventful first half led into a second full of chances. Tottenham were the better team after the interval and may rue not taking three points but will still be happy to leave Stamford Bridge 5 points clear of their London rivals with 8 games remaining in the season. Onto the ratings then...

Chelsea

Petr Cech - 7. Dealt well with his biggest challenges - a point blank smash from Van der Vaart and a fizzing free kick from Bale.

The Lippy White C*nt - 6. No racial insults were hurled.

The Flying Unibrow - 7. Worked the right wing well and defended well - Di Matteo may not have thought so though. Subbed for Luiz in the 60th minute.

Gary Cahill (Man of the Match) - 9. Thwarted more attacks than his back-line teammates and saved the game for Chelsea after clearing off the line when Adebayor had rounded Cech in the second half.

Ashley Cole - 6. Fairly anonymous.

Michael Essien - 6.5. Committed defensively. Had a job to do and did it fine.

Frank Lampard - 5. Very limited influence. Doesn't matter who is on the touchline for Chelsea - his best days seem to be behind him.

Ramires - 5.5 He was on the field...I think.

Daniel Sturridge - 6. Looked lost out on the left - whose fault is that though? The England manager, Har- err, Stuart Pearce was there to see.

Juan Mata - 6. Had the best chance of the match for Chelsea when he struck the post from a curling free kick. Usually the spark for Chelsea but aside from that, he seemed frustrated.

Didier Drogba - 5.5. Had 2 good opportunities but couldn't finish. Didn't have a great day.

David Luiz- 3. Came on for Bosingwa. What goes on in his head?





Tottenham


Captain America - 6. Was never truly tested.

Kyle Walker 6. - He has pace. He can run. I'm still unconvinced of his defensive abilities though.

Billy Gallas - 8. Fitness is the issue with him, hopefully he can sort that out. More please.


Younes Kaboul 6.5. Dealt with his challengers well.

Hey Arnold - 7. What the fuck is going on with hair? A good performance though. His passing was excellent and did not have any lapses in concentration.

Sandro - 6. Ran about like a madman but needs a bit more discipline. Received a yellow card and was subbed to prevent a second.

General Parker - 7. Bloodied in the second half, ran himself into the ground for the cause.

Luka Modric - 6. Never put his mark on the game.

The Boy Bale - 7.5. In the first half, he seemed to be the only one up for it. Was a bit over ambitious with a few shots but far and away Spurs most dangerous threat going forward. Also, hit the bar with a header.

Rafael van der Vaart - 6. Subbed.

Emmanuel Adebayor - 7. Really should have won the game after rounding Cech in the second half. He is very Jekyll and Hyde. At times has the touch of a Andy Carroll (see first half), at times can make excellent runs and get involved (see second half).

Friday, March 9, 2012

Soccer Players That May or May Not Have Been Born Out of Beastiality

See if you can match the following players (+manager, hint- it's #8) with their respective fathers.











1H (Llama) Ronaldinho, F, Flamengo
2A (Shrek) Wayne Rooney, F, Manchester United
3F (Hunchback) Franck Ribery, M, Bayern Munich
4B (C*nt Rat) Luis Saurez, F, Liverpool
5C (Badger) Carlos Tevez, F, Parts Unknown
6E (Sheepdog) Carlos Puyol, D, Barcelona
7D (Goonies Monster) Dirk Kuyt, F, Liverpool
8G (Downs Kid) Harry Redknapp, Manager, Tottenham