Okay I’m assuming this thing was thrown together without any
thought being put into it because it makes absolutely zero sense. A bunch of
things immediately come to mind:
- Newcastle should be in Harlem. I mean jailbird colors and underprivileged poor people go pretty much hand in hand, no?
- Cardiff in Brooklyn? I mean obviously hipsters can’t choose a really established side which rules about half the teams out. I’d say Brooklyn should be half Cardiff to cover some hipsters and then the other half should be blank to cover the hipsters who will stop following once soccer becomes popular.
- Spurs on the Upper West side with all the other Yids. Absolute no brainer.
- Liverpool takes Newcastle’s spot in Staten Island. My justification is that both people’s accents are incredibly annoying and borderline foreign.
- Fulham. Jacko. Chinatown. Somehow that makes sense.
- Man City has to move down to the Lower East Side with all the rich finance douches.
- Hull City are now the “Hull City Tigers” so they go to the Bronx (and the zoo).
- Chelsea move up the lower east side to…(drum roll) Chelsea. Really elementary stuff here.
- West Ham goes to the East Village (for those who don’t know, West Ham actually plays in East London. Talk about a mindfuck).
Can anyone think of anything else?
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