Neymar Scores 45 yard goal

I don't know how I feel about Neymar. Kids definitely got skill, no question about that. General consensus seems to be there's no way he'd be able to put up like he did for Santos in the EPL. Honestly, I don't think he thinks he could either. Probably why he went to Barcelona instead of an EPL team. Speaking of Barcelona, Messi held a charity game the other day, in which Neymar was in attendance. The new teammates, along with other friends of Messi, took the opportunity to showcase their skills that evening. Neymar in particular had quite the goal, catching the keeper off guard and letting one go from 45 yards out. Check it out in the below video!

Dirk Crushing Life

This was a straight red, right? Going down with the grace of a sack of bricks. Stick to the hardwood, Dirky.

Wednesday's Wanka

Introducing Wednesday Wanka's, an Upper Ninety weekly post, where players are exemplified for their stupidity or general bad play. This week's winner is Wang Shouting, a Chinese midfielder from Shanghai Shenghua. In last Wednesday's match between Shenghua and Changchun Yatai, Yatai's Matt McKay thought it would be a good idea to waste some time, as his team was up 1-0 in the 90th minute. We all hate flopping,  no matter the sport, but particularly in soccer. The game catches enough of a bad rap as it is, so it really fucking pisses me off when players do stupid shit like this. Luckily, Shouting made the best of the moment by being an idiot, to put it nicely. After the two collided going up for a header, McKay began rolling around as if he just suffered a season ending injury. His intention was evident, and Shengua's Shouting didn't take to kindly to it. He proceeded to drag the "injured" player off the field so play could resume. Yatai players rushed to their teammates defense and a scuffled ensued, all culminating in a red for Shouting. Personally, if i was the referee, I would have congratulated him. In reality, Shouting was simply trying to get the player to stop being such a little bitch, something this sport desperately needs. See the action unfold in the video above. 

Introducing the Socketball

From Now This News - Touring a power plant in Tanzania, the President kicked around a Socket soccer ball - an invention that's aimed at bringing easily accessible power to remote regions. The soccer ball has an internal pendulum that generates power; if it's kicked around for 30 minutes, it can power a lamp for several hours.

Genius. Just pure genius. Leave it to Harvard grads. On a more serious note, look at Obama's kick up skills. I've always thought the only reason the U.S. is behind on soccer is because the Lebrons and Adrian Petersons of the world are playing basketball and football instead of soccer (or in this case being the President) and this is 100% proof. Just pure technique and swag like you read about. I honestly thought this was Neymar.

Picture of the Day

Brazilians protest government funding of soccer stadiums for the Confederations Cup and World Cup... While attending the Confederations Cup final. 

Brazilian Defender Too Deep In Thought

                The outstanding victory of the Brazilian national soccer team this Sunday was a milestone accomplishment that will help propel this team to the soaring heights they are accustomed to.  However, the victory would be overshadowed by the devastating loss of Brazilian defender David Luiz.

                

                 David Luiz was the backbone of the Brazilian defense, time after time coming to their rescue. The Chelsea defenseman’s skill and athleticism were once again on display Sunday evening, as he slid into his own net managing to deflect the shot over the crossbar. To paint the picture, Spain was on the break. Play was developing in the middle (as usual), outside the eighteen, as Pedro made a run on the right flank receiving an outlet pass from his midfield. Luiz was in transition racing back to cover the weak side as Pedro let fly a precision shot across goal. Just as the ball was ready to cross the line, Luiz came flying in to repel it. This was perhaps a bit of foreshadowing, as Luiz would gracefully slide into heaven as he did his own net. 

                 The Brazilian defender was found dead on the pitch several hours after the game. The autopsy showed that David Luiz died of an aneurism. Following the trophy ceremony, the Brazilian team had a night out on town. They all met at Le Loft, a bar in the city. After several drinks, many members of the team noticed that David was nowhere to be found. They tried contacting him several times via his cell but received no response. After some time, they grew worried and went to see if they could locate him at his apartment in Fortaleza. When they arrived to his vacant apartment, tensions grew unsteady and the police were phoned. Later, that night at around 4 AM, David Luiz was found dead in the stadium at center field. Here are the last images taken of David Luiz before his death.

Till Next Time, 

Don Juan

P.S. He's not really dead. This is a fucking joke.

   

Pique Not Upset About Red Card, So Long As Shakira Still Loves Him

After a dismal performance by the Spanish side this past weekend at the Confederations Cup, many players are looking forward to the time off to collect themselves in preparation for the World Cup next year. After the game, we got a chance to catch up with some of the players and get their thoughts on how the game unfolded.

The events of this final could be summed up by Sergio Ramos’ golden opportunity to gain some momentum for his side when the referee pointed to the spot. After failed attempts to deceive Julio Cesar, with his deep, thoughtful eyes, Ramos struck the ball just wide of the right post. When asked about the penalty Ramos said, “I don’t know why I was even chosen to take the penalty. I’m a defenseman. I just tried to kick it really, really hard.” Couldn’t agree more Sergio! I think the majority of Spain fans would have agreed that in that particular position, down two - nil, Xavi or Iniesta would have been better suitors. It was just that kind of day for the Spanish side, who couldn’t get anything going and it would only continue.

Midway through the second half, Pique was given a red card for taking down Neymar, who was breaking for goal. It wouldn’t be right for Spain fans to place the blame entirely on the referee here, as the call could’ve gone either way. In an interview with our very own DPR, we asked Pique for his thoughts on the ejection. “Yeah, I had no choice but to make a play on the ball as Neymar was bound for goal, just so happened that I clipped him and got the red.” Pique didn’t seem all too bothered about being ejected in a game of this magnitude, when asked about it he replied, “Yeah I don’t really care, I get to go home to Shakira.” Touché Pique, touché.

So what can we take away from this game? I guess when your girlfriend is international superstar Shakira, not a whole lot else fucking matters.

Till next time,

Don Juan