In Case You Missed It

12/10 on the skill factor.  Why the fuck is this guy in the MLS?

The End of the Transfer Window is Nigh

I've told myself about 4,789 times this summer that I wouldn't pay attention to transfer window activities unless they were finalized deals. I failed every single time. Bought every rumor up, thought I knew the "trusted" sources. Might've lost a few years off my life. I could not be happier that it's almost over (although a last second Arsenal signing of.. might... just.. nevermind). Come Monday, performance on the pitch is all that matters. Let's do dis.

Awesome South American Soccer Footage (Pt. 463)

Grade A entertainment right here starting with Gabriel Iglesias bursting down the right before a vicious tackle brings him down. Did he just catch some steel or did a wild lion bite off his foot at the ankle? TBD. I'm going to go with the latter though based on his reaction, the TRIPLE ROLLOVER. Moving right on to 16 seconds in and you've got arguably the most flamboyant red card in the history of South America. Followed immediately after by FATALITY! Execution 10/10 (make sure you watch the slow motion). Slow gold clap by the Paraguayan faithful...just another day in paradise.

Goal of the Week

Simply. Dzeko.

Note: Dzeko must always be said in a deep thick Eastern European accent.

Well Done.

Taken from the Sounders v. Timbers game last night...

THEE CHAMPIONSSSS

Dispelling unfounded doubts about Arsenal Football Club following a horror loss to Aston Villa this past weekend, the Gunners showed the world their true form in a comfortable thrashing of Turkish side Fenerbache on Tuesday in Istanbul. Their combination of incisive passing, interchangeable positional movement, and a killer instinct invoked an electric hybrid of Dutch football circa the mid 70s and Barcelona of this past decade. The win all but assures their birth in the world's premier sporting competition which itself ensures a big name signing or two before the transfer window closes (cough cough Karim Benzema cough cough). This, in turn, objectively makes them league favorites as well as making an FA Cup triumph a foregone conclusion. The Royal Baby has reportedly gotten the classic Arsenal cannon insignia tattooed on his forehead in celebration, Arsene Wenger is scheduled to be knighted Thursday, and Chumbawumba has reformed and announced an upcoming world tour and double LP. All in all, everything is back to normal and everyone can resume their daily lives.

US Team Answers Questions about MJ

Oldie but goodie. This was before the final of the 2009 Confederations Cup (also the time that Michael Jackson died) and LD and the U.S. team we're bombarded with several questions about paying tribute to him in their game by the foreign press. You can see LD having trouble holding back a laugh, and then when the second question comes at 2:03, his look at Bob was priceless. Like, "Is this guy fucking serious?" I think we all know who was asking those questions by the way. Looking at you Mohamed...